


a pirate's life for me

by basha



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirate, Alternate Universe - Royalty, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:21:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23334559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basha/pseuds/basha
Summary: Neil has always known that he's the prince (how could he not?), but he has never really considered the implications of the fact until his parents visit him at school to tell him of his betrothal.
Relationships: Charlie Dalton & Neil Perry, Charlie Dalton/Steven Meeks/Gerard Pitts, Ginny Danbury/Chris Noel/Knox Overstreet, Hopkins/Spaz (Dead Poets Society), Neil Perry & Knox Overstreet, Todd Anderson/Neil Perry
Comments: 4
Kudos: 55





	a pirate's life for me

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure why I wrote this, but once I started I couldn't stop until I finished.
> 
> Anderperry is the main relationship, but everyone gets a little bit of romance--except Cameron.
> 
> Enjoy!

Neil has always known that he's the prince (how could he not?), but he has never really considered the implications of the fact until his parents visit him at school to tell him of his betrothal. The reason for this ignorance is probably that Neil has lived at Welton Castle ever since he was five, where dozens of boys, all the sons of nobility and wealthy men, grew up side by side. He has never once considered himself to be different from the other boys; they all play games together, take lessons together, eat together, and even sleep together in the same dormitory. 

This comfortable sense of being just one part of a greater whole is ripped away from him like a blanket on a cold winter’s morning when the king and queen arrive at Welton. The boys jostle for best positioning near the windows to watch the royal carriage approach. Neil can’t help but join them; it’s been years since he has seen his parents, so long that he barely identifies himself with the majesty of their procession.

Charlie, his best mate, elbows him.

“What do you think this is all about?” He asks.

“I dunno,” he says. “Maybe someone’s died.” Charlie snorts. 

“We would have heard if someone important had died,” he says. “I’d bet it’s your folks coming to tell you that you’re about to get a bouncing new baby brother. That’s what it always is when my parents come.” Charlie’s father is a knight, his mother is a noble lady of some sort, and his entire family is an ever-growing, very attractive brood. 

“I think you’re both wrong,” Knox, Neil and Charlie’s other best mate, says, leaning against the wall and staring dreamily out of the window. “I bet they’ve come to tell you they’ve found someone wonderful for you to marry.” Charlie and Neil make eye contact, then burst into laughter.

“Don’t be stupid,” Charlie says. “We’re only ten. There’s no way that’s why they’re here.”

“We’re here to tell you that we’ve found someone for you to marry,” Neil’s father tells him barely ten minutes later, once Neil has been fetched from the dormitory and pleasantries have been exchanged. 

“But...but Father!” Neil exclaims. “How can I marry someone I’ve never even met?”

“You will meet him in time,” his father replies impatiently. 

“But--” Neil’s father grabs his arm, hard. His mother makes a little noise but says nothing. 

“Leave us,” he commands the guards. Then he glares down at Neil, still holding his arm in a vice-like grip. “Don’t you ever disagree with me like that in public.”

“I--”

“Silence!” His father commands. “This betrothal is necessary to secure a very important alliance with another kingdom. You would do well to remember your duty to your people.”

“It’s a very good match,” his mother simpers. “Anderson is a beautiful kingdom, and their royalty are a wonderful family.”

“I’m sorry for my insolence, Father,” Neil says, looking down at his shoes. “May I ask one more question?”

“Of course, dearest,” his mother says, after casting a placating look at his father. 

“What’s his first name?” His father thinks for a moment, then shrugs, looking over at his mother.

“It’s Jeffery,” she says. 

Neil doesn’t meet his betrothed (nor write to him, nor even see a portrait of his face) until he’s twelve. His parents return for him, just as before, and inform him that he has just under an hour to pack before they take him to the kingdom of Anderson.

“But why?” He sputters, trying to sound merely curious and not confrontational. 

“They’ve invited us,” his father explains simply. “So we must go. Until you wed Prince Jeffrey, our alliance with Anderson is still shaky. We both must demonstrate that we are genuinely committed to this betrothal.” Neil wonders who counts in the ‘we.’

The coach ride to the castle of Balincrest is long and uncomfortable. The introduction to the royal family of Anderson is, somehow, even more uncomfortable than the coach ride. The castle is even more opulent than how Neil remembers his father’s castle being, though his memories are hazy and he could be mistaken. Neil thought his parents were intimidating people, but the royal family of Anderson frightens him in a new way; they are prim and put together and utterly ice cold. His parents bow, so he does too, and then the Andersons bow back.

“Fredrick!” His father booms. “Lovely to see you.”

“You as well,” the other king replies, though his expression does not change. While their parents exchange pleasantries, Neil looks at the two princes. He had no idea there would be two before he arrived, and the notion is strange to him; he’s always considered Charlie and Knox to be like brothers to him, but the simile and the reality can’t be the same. The taller boy, he assumes, is Jeffrey, the man he’ll be marrying one day. He’s fine, as far as Neil can tell, he’s tall and slim and well groomed. He’s older than Neil had pictured. Next to him, there is a mouse of a boy. He’s closer to Neil’s age, probably, but short, and sort of bent in on himself, like he’s trying to disappear. His sleeves are pulled down over his hands, and Neil wonders why this is what he fixates on.

Frederick finally gets around to introducing the children. 

“Prince Neil, may I have the honor of introducing you to my son and your betrothed, Prince Jeffrey. I hope you’ll excuse my boasting if I say that Jeffrey is a very accomplished young man; his tutors say he is the brightest boy they’ve ever taught, and he’s well feared in the local jousting tournaments.”

“Father, please,” Jeffrey says, puffing up his chest. “No need to sing my praises to my future husband.” Neil blushes and wonders how Jeffrey says those words so easily.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he manages. Fredrick turns back to Neil’s father as if to move on, and Neil finds the courage to speak up. “And who is this, your Majesty?” He gestures to the mousy boy, who looks up, startled at the attention.

“Ah,” Frederick says, with a quick chuckle. “This is my other son, Prince Todd. Please excuse his silence, he’s not much of a talker, and he’s been cursed with a stutter that makes what he does say utterly incomprehensible.” Jeffrey laughs, and so does Neil’s father. Neil doesn’t, stuck like a fly in amber in the gaze of the younger prince. “Well then,” Frederick says. “Shall we have our footmen show you to your rooms?”

In hindsight, Neil recognizes that his expectations for his time at Balincrest were a bit naive. He expected balls and dinners and festivities like the kind in his history books; he pictures long walks in the beautiful guardans behind the palace with Jeffrey and maybe even a first kiss. He gets almost none of these things. The visit, as it turns out, is really mostly for business, and the kings and queens spend the whole week of the visit locked in the king’s study, hammering out trade deals and various truces. The court at Balincreat doesn’t seem to be prone to excitement of any sort. They do all eat dinner together, but in relative silence at the castles’ endlessly long dining table. 

Neil spends time alone with his betrothed only once, on his second day at the castle, when Jeffrey invites him to watch his archery practice. 

“Yeah,” he says. “Sure.” Only it turns out that when Jeffrey says “watch” and not “join” or even “talk,” he really only means “watch.” Neil tries to ask him some questions, which he answers tersely, before asking Neil if he wouldn’t mind being quiet and letting him concentrate. Neil watches him in silence for almost an hour. Then, when it becomes unbearable, he stands up and walks away. He thinks he sees the archery instructor cast him an envious look. 

Back inside the castle, Neil resumes his exploration. Yesterday he combed through the east wing, where he found dozens of overly ornate rooms designed for entertaining, eating, and resting. Today, he picks his way through the west wing. He can already tell he prefers this side; the first room he finds has stairs that lead to an observatory. Then he finds the library. He’s immediately awed by its grandeur, but for once the opulence is intriguing instead of off putting. He’s never seen so many books in one place before. 

He runs his fingers over the spines of the books, stopping now and then to check out an interesting looking volume or two. He’s incredibly peaceful, until a voice says “hello” and nearly gives him a heart attack. 

“Hello?” he asks, whipping his head to the right. Prince Todd stands at the end of the row, holding a book in his hand loosely. “You scared me.” 

“Sorry,” Prince Todd mumbles, the first word Neil can recall hearing him say. 

“No worries. This place is amazing!” He enthuses, trying to set Todd at ease. It clearly works a little, because a hint of a smile passes across his face. 

“T-this is my f-favorite place in the whole castle,” Todd admits. “I p-practically live here.” Neil smiles, charmed by the imagery of the little prince curled up in one of the many armchairs for reading nooks, reading his childhood away. 

“Have any good recommendations?” he asks.

“D-depends,” Todd replies. “What do you usually like?” Neil thinks for a moment. 

“I like plays,” he says, thoughtfully. “Comedies are my favorite. But really, anything with a happy ending.” Todd smiles, a real, full smile. 

“Come with me,” he says. “I have just the thing for you.” Neil spends the rest of the day silently reading in Todd’s company. He likes it so much that he spends every day of the next week by Todd’s side. Luckily for him, Todd seems to enjoy his companionship as well, and came further and further out of his shell. They spend a lot of their time in the library, occasionally reading fragments of poetry or excerpts of monologues out loud to each other. Once Todd is comfortable enough with Neil, he starts showing him his favorite spots around the castle.

Neil’s favorite place is up on the ramparts. Todd takes him up there through a hidden staircase behind a statue of some forefather of his. The view of the far away sea is incredible, but Todd pulls him down until they’re hunkered against the wall, legs pulled up to their chests.

“I come up here when I’m upset,” Todd tells him. “Or when I need to t-think. No one else knows about it.”

“Todd,” Neil gapes. “Are you showing me your secret hideout?” Todd flushes, and mumbles something into his lap. “No, Todd, I just mean--I’m honored!” The smile returns to Todd’s face. 

“Can I ask you something?” Todd asks after a moment.

“Course, Todd.”

“Do you ever think about leaving?”

“Leaving?” Todd’s gaze returns to his own feet, but he forges on.

“Leaving all of this. This life. Just packing up and leaving it all behind.” Neil thinks for a moment. In all honesty, he’s never thought of doing such a thing before, but now that Todd brings it up it does sound awfully appealing. 

“Yes,” he hears himself say. 

“Where would you go?” Todd asks. 

“Where would you?” Neil deflects, though he realizes it’s also sort of an answer. Todd shrugs. 

“Far,” he says. “Far, far away.” The wind picks up, ruffling their hair. Neil doesn’t know why, but he takes Todd’s hand. 

“If you do ever go,” he says. “I’d join you.” Todd looks at him for a moment, very seriously, then darts in to press their lips together. It’s over before Neil can even react, and then Todd is sinking back into his seat, flushed pink.

“Sorry,” Todd says.

“Don’t be,” he manages to reply. They sit in silence for a minute before Neil speaks up. “I have an idea.”

“Let’s hear it,” Todd says, sounding grateful.

“You agree that dinner with our parents is sort of sull, don’t you?” Todd nods, looking interested. “At school, me and my friends do this thing sometimes where we hold our forks in the wrong hand. It’s foolish, I know, but it makes it into a little game.” He worries Todd will think he’s an idiot, but Todd bursts out laughing instead. 

That night over dinner, Neil and Todd make repeated eye contact as they fumble with their forks, and have to bite down hard on their laughter. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Neil’s father snaps at him.

“Nothing, Father,” Neil replies, before catching Todd’s eye again and having to pinch his own leg to stop himself from howling. 

They leave a few days later. Neil, strangely, finds himself wishing they were staying longer. Neil says a polite goodbye to the queen and king and Jeffrey, then grabs Todd in a hug. 

“You’ll write, won’t you?” He implores. Todd smiles and nods, looking bashful, and Neil knows he means yes. 

When he’s fifteen, he comes back home for the first time in his life. His parents have decided he needs to be nearer to them, learning the ins and outs of being on the throne, now that he doesn’t cry or scream or need to be coddled. At his insistence, Charlie and Knox move into the castle with him. He assumed there would be more of a fuss about it, but their parents allow it because of the honor and prestige of having their sons be a future king’s right hand men, and his parents allow it because they have no real reason not to. 

Neil misses Welton, sometimes, misses his teachers and his classmates and the way the sun set over the Great Lawn. He never considered what he had at Welton “freedom,” but in his parents’ castle, under his parents’ thumb, Neil longs for the easy days of waking up late and wearing his uniform half untucked and playing soccer with his friends after classes. In his parents’ castle, his days are tightly scheduled, and he’s almost never left alone.

Half of his day is spent in lessons: sword lessons, riding lessons, math and Latin and history lessons, dancing lessons, etiquette lessons, even lessons in oratory, which he enjoys and excels at. The other half of his days are spent shadowing his father in court, watching as he speaks with his advisors, makes decisions and decrees, and delegates other responsibilities. It’s incredibly boring, but Neil entertains himself by drafting letters to Todd in his head.

_ Dear Todd,  _ he’ll write,  _ today I listened to my father argue with his council about wheat for five hours. Believe it or not, Todd, but apparently the issue still hasn’t been resolved and must be revisited tomorrow. At some point my father will ask my thoughts on the matter, and I’ll have to tell him that all I know about wheat is that somehow it ends up being involved in making those pastries with the little berries that I like so much. Thank you for recommending that book to me, I picked it up and couldn’t put it down until I finished. I don’t know what I liked more: the things he said or the way he said them. I hope you’re doing well; I think of you all the time and Charlie and Knox tease me for writing so often. I hope you don’t mind.  _

At his mother’s insistence, he sometimes writes letters to Jeffrey as well. 

_ Dear Prince Jeffrey,  _ he’ll write.  _ The weather here has been very nice. The wheat yield has been particularly abundant this year. What do you think about wheat?  _

At seventeen, Neil finds that the life he’s expected to live has gone from restrictive to absolutely suffocating. This may or may not have everything to do with the fact that a date has been set for his wedding. It doesn’t help that Todd’s letters abruptly stopped arriving a year or so ago, so he can’t admit his fears to the person he most wants to talk to about them. 

He takes to taking very long walks with Charlie and Knox around the perimeter of the castle grounds and reading a lot of morose poetry.

“Are you worried about the wedding?” Knox asks one day, when said date is only a month away. It’s after lights out, and the three of them are all in Neil’s room, sitting on Neil’s bed. Charlie passes Neil the bottle of red wine he snuck out of the kitchen cellar, and Neil takes a long drink.

“Worried isn’t the right word,” he says, scowling into the bottle. Knox grabs it away from him.

“Gonna go through with it?” Charlie asks, looking at Neil. His gaze is steady and intense, and Neil wants to reach across the bed and hug him. But then Charlie’s words sink in and root him to his seat.

“Do I have a choice?” he whispers. He must look pretty upset, because Knox scooches over to him and throws an arm around his shoulders, and Charlie sort of grabs his hand for a second. He falls asleep that night tipsy and sandwiched between his two best friends in the whole world. He wakes up hungover, with an idea so crazy it just might work.

He does as much research as he can before proposing it to Charlie and Knox, because he’s not going to do it without them. He lays out his plan as clearly and thoroughly as possible, though it ends seemily in the middle of the action. 

“What about your father?” Knox asks hesitantly. 

“Fuck him,” Neil says, sounding more confident than he feels. “Who’s in?”

“I’m in,” Charlie says instantly. Neil has never loved him more. Knox looks between them, then nods. 

“I’m in,” he says. “But you’re gonna have to rub my back if I get seasick.”

Neil tells himself that they’re not exactly stealing the horses from his parents, but ultimately he doesn’t really care, as long as they don’t get caught. The night guards give them odd looks as they sneak out, but no attempt to stop them is made, just as Neil was counting on. No one sees them go into or leave the stables; no one stops them as they ride off of the castle grounds. Finally they reach the open road and ride until they can see signs of approaching civilization. They sell the horses to a passing merchant, and walk the rest of the way to the city.

They head straight for the port.

This is more or less where Neil’s plan ends. 

“What now?” Charlie asks. 

“Now we find a crew that will take us on,” he answers. 

“Right,” Knox says. “And how do we do that?”

In the end, they don’t find a crew so much as a crew finds them. They’ve asked around all day, getting increasingly anxious as the hours tick by and they’re turned down by captain after captain. Neil tries not to break down as he, Charlie, and Knox stand in a huddle and try to come up with a Plan B. Then he’s tapped on the shoulder by a woman with shoulder length brown hair. Neil thinks she might be the first woman he’s ever seen in trousers, but they look good on her.

“Hullo,” she says with a bright smile. “I hear you’re desperate to get out of here.”

“We are,” Neil says, cautiously. “Know of any ships willing to take on a few more crew members?”

“I might,” the woman says. “Come with me, and I’ll introduce you to Captain Noel.”

“Captain Chris Noel?” Charlie cuts in. “The pirate king?”

“Yes,” the woman says, easily. Charlie grins.

“Fucking awesome,” he says. “Take me to your leader!” They follow behind the woman, weaving through the streets of the port city until they arrive at a little bay Neil didn’t notice before. There is one small dock off the bay, and at the end of the bay, there is a boat. On the side, someone’s painted the boat: The Keating. On the dock, a beautiful blonde woman and a very tall man are deep in conversation. 

“Captain!” The brunette woman shouts. The blonde turns to look at them, and Neil hears Knox gasp beside him. 

“Ginny,” she says cooly. “What do we have here?”

“New recruits, Cap. They’re dying for a ship out of here.” The Captain smiles at them. 

“I’m Chris,” she says, extending a hand. “But you can call me Captain.” Charlie shakes her hand, then Neil, then Knox, who doesn’t let go until Charlie elbows him. “What are your names?” Neil opens his mouth, but Chris holds up a hand. “Feel free to think about it for a second, you only get one shot.” Neil thinks for a second.

“Puck,” he decides, a little homage to his favorite character from the play Todd recommended to him all those years ago. 

“Nuwanda,” Charlie says, which as far as Neil can tell he’s fully pulled out of his ass. 

“I’m Knox,” Knox says stupidly. Neil steps on his foot, but it’s too late. 

“Pleased to meet ya,” Chris says. “This here is Pitts, and you’ve already met Ginny, my second mate. Do you have any experience on the high seas?”

“No, Captain,” Neil says anxiously. “But we’re all trained in sword fighting. And math. And oratory.” Chris, Ginny, and Pitts start laughing. 

“Oratory,” Chris says, wiping away a tear. “That’s funny. Alright then, sword fighting is valuable. You are aware that we’re the bad guys, right? We lie and steal and plunder and all that; I can’t take on crew members with moral hangups.”

“Do you ever kill people?” Charlie asks straightforwardly. 

“Only if we can’t help it,” Chris responds.

“We’re in,” Neil says, only realizing in that very moment exactly how desperate he is to escape.

“Excellent,” Chris says. “We set sail in three hours. We’ll discuss pay soon, but everyone splits the loot pretty equally on the Keating. Come aboard and I’ll introduce you to the crew.” Neil, Charlie, and Knox follow Chris, Ginny, and Pitts up to the deck of the ship. It sways, and Neil tries to get his balance. Chris puts two fingers in her mouth and whistles, and soon the rest of the crew of pirates assembles before them. Chris introduces them, and Neil tries to keep track of the names.

Meeks, a bespectacled redhead, tucks himself against Pitts’ side; Spaz and Hopkins also seem to come as a matched set; Cameron must be in a foul mood, because he’s scowling at the floor. Then there’s Walt, a tall man around Neil’s age with floppy light brown hair, who shakes their hands with an easy sort of confidence. There’s something familiar about him that Neil can’t quite place. His hands are warm and calloused. 

“Walt’s my first mate,” Chris explains. “And I mostly let him make the schedule, so you ought to be nice to him.”

“Relax,” Walt says, voice clear and confident. “This’ll be fun.”

It is kind of fun, strangely enough, living the life of a pirate. Sure it’s a lot more manual labor than he’s used to, and a fair amount less hygienic than his old life. Sleeping in a hammock takes time to get used to, and the food leaves a lot to be desired. But the freedom and the companionship of his new crewmates make it totally worth it for Neil. 

The raids aren’t bad either. Neil anticipates that they’ll be chaotic and terrifying, but it’s actually strangely civilized. The ship pursues another ship until they’re side by side, and then they toss ropes on hooks onto the deck and climb up. Most merchants and their crews try to put up a little resistance, but once they see Chris and Walt with their swords and Pittsie back on their ship with his cannon aimed, they tend to fork over loot and supplies without too much of a hassle. 

The best part of being a pirate, strangely enough, is spending time with a certain member of the crew. Each of his friends find their own special favorites among their new crew; Charlie falls in with Pitts and Meeks, Knox follows Chris and Ginny around like a puppy dog. And Neil finds himself strangely drawn to Walt. 

Walt carries himself with grace. He’s the only one on board who owns any books, and he loans them out freely to Neil when he asks. And he writes his own poetry. They spend a lot of time up in the Eagle’s Nest, ostensibly on the lookout but really just talking and laughing and staring at each other’s lips. 

“It’s funny,” Walt says to him one day. “I feel like I’ve known you for years.”

“Maybe we’re just soulmates,” Neil says, and then flushes bright red, because they haven’t even kissed yet and if he’s weird like that he’ll never get to try. Walt reaches over and intertwines their fingers.

“Maybe we are, Puck,” he agrees easily. And this. Here. This is Neil’s big hang up, the reason he doesn’t lean over and press their lips together even though he knows they both want to. Because Walt doesn’t really know him. And, when he thinks about it, he might not really know Walt as well as he thinks he does; they never talk about either of their pasts at all, and Neil has no reason to believe that Walt is his real name. 

On the other hand, how much does any of that stuff really matter? Neil knows everything important about Walt: he knows that he wakes up early to watch the sunrise and that he trusts Chris with his life but not during poker and that in his dream world the whole crew will retire one day and move to an island together. He knows that Walt’s not a fan of making speeches to the crew, but when it’s just him and Neil he can talk for hours, soaking in Neil’s attention. What else could possibly be important enough to change either of their minds?

They have their first kiss a few weeks later, after a raid gone wrong leaves Neil with a bullet wound in his shoulder. He dropped like a lead sack when it happened, and both Charlie and Knox freaked out, and the whole thing was almost entirely ruined until Chris thought on her feet and threatened to set fire to the ship unless everybody kept their head on. 

They take Neil down to the hold and put him in Chris and Ginny’s bed, which Neil knows from Knox is the only real, nailed down bed on the ship. Knox can’t stop crying, so Neil lets him hold his hand, the one not attached to the arm that feels like it’s going to fall off. Charlie’s eyes glisten with tears too, but he keeps it together enough to fetch Neil some whiskey and help him drink it.

“It’ll hurt less,” he promises.

Walt walks in a second later, and Neil almost cries at the sight of him.

“My father, whenever he bothered to pay attention to me, always wanted me to be a doctor,” Walt explains, waving a pair of tweezers, a grim set to his mouth. “I’m gonna take the bullet out, now. Okay, Puck?”

“Okay,” he says. Walt feels more familiar to him than ever, and he feels a sudden flush of warmth for the pirate. “I trust you.” A brilliant idea occurs to him. “Come here for a sec.” Walt bends down, their faces just inches apart, looking concerned. Neil let’s go of Knox's hand and wraps it around the back of Walt’s neck, pulling him in for a long kiss. Walt pulls away, and Neil keeps smiling at him dopily. “For luck,” he explains.

Walt gets the bullet out, but Neil’s still out of commission for a while. He doesn’t exactly care, though, because he gets to get drunk in the middle of the day and kiss Walt pretty much whenever he wants.

“I love you,” he tells Walt very seriously one day. They’re back up in the Eagles Nest, Neil’s head in Walt’s lap. Walt blushes in a way that Neil has recently discovered he really likes. 

“You’re drunk,” Walt says.

“I am not!” He sits up and looks Walt in the eye. The whole world fizzes in and out of focus for a second.“Okay, maybe a little, but I still mean it.”

“Have you ever been in love before?” Walt asks, staring off at the horizon. Neil thinks.

“There was this guy, once,” he admits. “We were pen pals for a while. Oh, and I suppose I was engaged at some point. 

“You were engaged?”

“I didn’t really like him,” Neil says. He’s not sure why this is where the conversation has gone. “But I really really like you. I love you. I just wanted to say it; you don’t have to say it back.”

“Don’t be stupid, Puck,” Walt says, hauling Neil in for a brusing kiss. “Of course I love you back.”

After five months on the sea, they dock on land to restock their supplies and to sell some fancy gold things. Chris pioneers the shopping trip, Ginny is in charge of sales. Walt begs off from whatever first mate duties he might have had to do, and takes Neil on a mini tour of the port city. He’s been here before, apparently, and he holds Neil’s hand as he directs them through the streets. They spend a good half hour in a bookstore, and then Walt sends Neil into a shop to get them a hot lunch while he goes to buy them some surprise treats for later. 

Neil wanders back onto the street and finds Walt, who’s holding something up and slipping it into his pocket. Neil wraps his arm around Walt’s waist, and he kisses Walt’s cheek. Walt goes stiff. Neil looks up and sees that Walt is looking at a wall of posters of missing children. Neil’s relieved not to see himself up there. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks Walt in an undertone. Walt turns to him with a strange look on his face.

“Before I was this,” he says. “I was...someone of relative importance. And every time we come back to civilization I look, but they’re not looking for me. They don’t care that I’m gone.” Neil’s heart melts, and he pulls Walt into a hug.

“I’d care,” he says. Walt gives him a long look that he can’t decipher.

“Are you sure about that?” Walt asks cryptically. Then he shakes his head, cutting off Neil’s answer, and waves a brown bag in Neil’s face. “Let’s go eat those sandwiches so we can dig into these later,” he says. 

Neil has the impression that the conversation is not yet finished. He’s right, but not in the way he expects to be.

The ship sets sail about an hour later, and soon they’re far into the blue with no land in sight. Neil finds it strangely comforting. Walt drags him up to the Eagles Nest as the sun is setting.

“You really love it here, huh?” he asks rhetorically, before reaching over to kiss Walt. Walt pulls away. “What’s wrong?” Walt looks at him, long and steady, and pulls a folded up piece of paper out of his pocket, which he hands to Neil.

“Just take a look,” Walt says. Neil unfolds the paper, and nearly drops it to the deck in surprise. It’s a missing child poster, with his, Charlie’s, and Knox’s name and picture. A very large reward takes up the bottom third of the page. 

“Um,” Neil says eloquently. “Who are these people?”

“Even if there weren’t portraits of you here, Neil, Knox told us his real name.” Walt’s hands are shaking. Neil knows this is weird, but he’s not sure why Walt’s making such a big deal about it. 

“Okay, yes, that’s us,” he says. “Or that’s who we were. But it doesn’t change who we are now.”

“Neil,” Walt whispers, and Neil wishes he could revel in how good his real name sounds on Walt’s tongue, but Walt’s eyes are filled with tears and Neil suddenly feels like everything is going wrong.

“Walt, what’s wrong--”

“Don’t call me that,” Walt interrupts.

“Okay,” Neil says, frantic to agree. “What do I call you?” Walt takes a deep breath and looks into Neil’s eyes.

“I think you may as well go ahead and call me Todd,” the man Neil loves tells him. Neil just stares at him for a moment, unable to process. Then he grabs him by the shoulders. 

“Todd,” he repeats, feeling slightly feverish. “Oh my God, Todd! Todd!” He wraps his arms around Todd, and feels Todd’s return the hug loosely. “I thought I’d never see you again,” he mumbles. Todd is crying now, in earnest, and Neil feels close to joining him. “Don’t cry,” he begs. “Todd, please.”

“I’ve loved you from afar for as long as I could remember,” Todd replies, faintly. “Just give me a moment to adjust to the idea that I’ve already gotten to know you love me back.” Neil squeezes him tighter. “You’re not disappointed that I’m...me?”

“No,” he replies. “Of course not, Todd, how can you even say that?”

“You didn’t come,” Todd tells him, pulling back, slightly. 

“What do you mean?” he asks, and Todd pulls all the way out of his hold until they aren’t even touching. “What’s wrong?”

“The letter I wrote you,” Todd says, with the cadence of a reminder. Neil wracks his brain, wishing he could remember what Todd is talking about. Todd blinks at him in the light of the sunset, looking young and soft and so much like the boy Neil once fell in love with and  _ god, how didn’t he see this before? _ “I wrote you a letter,” Todd tells him. “A week before I left home, begging you to run away with me. And you never...you didn’t come.”

“God, Todd, I didn’t know, I never got the letter. I can’t--” A horrible thought occurs to him, and he knows that it’s true. “My father. He must have...that--that bastard!”

“Fuck,” Todd chokes, hands coming up to cover his face. “This...I need a moment to process this.”

“I would have come,” Neil tells him, a hint of urgency in his voice. “Fuck, Todd, you’re part of the reason I made it out here after all.” Todd cocks his head. “When I stopped getting your letters, I stopped needing to have a place where you knew to send the letters…” He trails off for a moment, but he knows he has to finish the thought. “When you stopped writing to me, I stopped having any real reason to be there.” Todd sniffs, and then he throws himself forward into Neil’s arms, kissing him with single-minded determination. 

“I love you,” Todd says.

“I love you too,” Neil replies. They stare at each other for a moment. “What do we do now?” 

“Now?” Todd asks pensively. “Now we climb back down to the deck and tell our crewmates the whole story, with real names and everything. I trust them, don’t you?”

“Charlie and Knox are gonna lose their shit,” Neil says. Todd laughs. “And after that?” Todd smiles.

“After that we do whatever we want to do. If you want to go home, we can do that; I’m sure they’d treat us as a fine way to secure the Perry-Anderson alliance, and I wouldn’t mind a chance to rub this in Jeffrey’s face. But we don’t have to if you don’t want to. And if you want to but then it turns out it sucks, we can leave. We’re the masters of our own fate now, Neil.”

“Say that again,” Neil says, pulling Todd in for another kiss. 

Later, Knox will cry because he’s a sap and Charlie will laugh at them because he’s a jerk and Meeks and Pitts will smile at Charlie and each other moonily because they’re relatively normal. Later, Chris will pull him aside and tell him that if they ever go back to be crowned, she expects to be made a knight of the round table. Then she’ll pull him into a hug and whisper into his ear.

“I’m glad he found you again,” she’ll say. “He was pretty torn up about you when I first met him.”

Later, Todd and Neil will go back to their shared hammock and hold hands in the dark, murmuring to each other before Cameron throws a shoe at them and tells them to shut up. 

Now, Neil and Todd sit in the Eagles Nest and watch the last of the sun slip beneath the ocean waves.


End file.
